College.. oh college, how it is suppose to be one of the best years of your life.
Of course it is never like that for me at all and I always end up having the direct opposite with schools and "fitting in."
I became a part of the group of kids who were expected to go to college right after high school. Especially I had to go to college or university because of my background. I am a first generation, Mexican-American, who comes from a low-income family. No one on either side of my family has ever gone to college and even more pressure to do well was given to me. (Definitely, not completely living up to that.) Basically, part of the reason I go to college is so that I do not have to deal with having no steady job in the future and sort of take care of my parents in the future because they want me to be successful. The other reason is to have a little bit of a social distance or freedom from my home life and replace it with school, that also has its side effects. Those side effects include, but not limited to, stress, depression, anxiety/nervousness, and feeling of failure/disappointment.
I am most likely not the only one dealing with that, but I have learned to sort of keep it under controlled.
When I started my first year at SDSU, it took me a long time to get used to everything that had to deal with college. New faces everywhere I went, new locations, walking everywhere, and taking tests with 100+ people. Even now, I will probably never get used to it and what made me "fit in" a but more was that I found a small group of friends that I can be around, since we were all in the same major and were taking the same classes.
It took until my second year of college to find this group of amazing people and lessen the side effects. Even though I hated taking tests, I have somewhat got used to failing some tests while doing great on some.
Between school and my family, my family never sees the difficulty I go through with school and expects me to no get Cs (forget about getting a D or F). They always ask why I am up at 1 A.M or when I am going to sleep, but they never understand that coming home from school and having to either go to work after school or start immediately on homework is emotionally draining. I try not to show that side to them because I know they work hard to provide for our family. So the least I could do is keep those side effects within and do well in school, right? Sometimes I feel a bit like a robot when I home because it is always eat, take a nap, start homework, and finally get some sleep. While at school, I can "be myself" part of the time that is not used with lectures and furiously writing notes down.
So, immersing myself in school, an academic discourse community, was a little bit harder than high school because in high school all I had to do was follow directions and at SDSU, I was on my own when it came to needing help, since my family did not know anything.
Good thing I sort of have the hang of it after stating my third year here. One more year to go after this one lol
Hello Lisset, I ask myself the same question all the time! College being the best years of my life? Lol. However after thinking about it, I do come to realize that college are in fact the best years of your life. Simply because we are young, becoming smarter and becoming prepared for our future. I truly understand your standpoint of being a kid and expected to go to college. I as well, am a first generation Mexican-American college student. It actually is a lot of pressure because everyone pretty much expects us to succeed and do well in order to prepare our future families. Attending a new school can be overwhelming but of course over time, you get used to it and learn to adapt. You meet new friends, you experience concepts, explore different places and even adapt to a new lifestyle. Luckily, over time (or actually very quickly) I adapted to everything and am now enjoying SDSU as much as possible! Of course except the testing and reading etc lol. But at the end, it’s all worth it.
ReplyDelete-Orlando Galan
Hi Lisset! I loved your blog and I liked reading about your journey. I come from a Filipino American family who is not the richest either and I agree it is very tough. I am in the same boat as you, I am only here to get a good job and take care of my family as well. I am the first grandchild and first born daughter in my family, so I must agree that the pressure is extremely high. Taking my first test in a 500-student classroom was kind of overwhelming and hectic also. I also must say that you are not the only one staying up at 1 in the morning, I am a huge procrastinator and my parents often get mad at me saying "why didn't you do your homework earlier so you don't have to do it this late". They just don't know how hard it is to be a college student! In high school, not a lot of people are driven to go to college so it was kind of hard to focus, but when I came to college I loved it because everyone has a drive to do good, and it makes me do good as well. Good Job!
ReplyDelete-Vanessa
Hey Lisset! My family always pushed that idea that college would be the best years of my life on me. And honestly, they probably have been, although not in the way that I expected it. I didn't know depriving yourself of sleep, food and money were factors in the best years of your life. Surely that time I took a test hungover 9am in the morning wasn't the best day of my life either. But some of the best friends I have, I've made them here. I have also lived unforgettable experiences that definitely will go down generations and generations. It was fun reading your blog and how I can relate to it. Keep it up!
ReplyDelete-Santiago Gayon
Hey Lisset!
ReplyDeleteI thought your blog was so truthful and great. I really enjoyed reading it. My parents as well wanted me to go to college. They pretty much said as if i had no choice not to. Granted I really did want to go to college and better my education just like you I want to get a well paying job. I know one day my parents will get older and I will take care of them one day too. I totally can relate when you say sometimes you feel like a robot. All I really do it school, work, and homework! With the occasional sleep and eat haha. I am glad you found a great group of friends!! I am working on that myself (: You got this girly! The finish line is in sight!
See you in class,
Allison Starr
Lisset, this was a great post. Thank you for sharing. It's easy for me to forget the challenges of college . . .
ReplyDeleteEF